Mortality Rates, Part I

So, I am involved in a new project right now, part of which is going to require that I define some of the terms we have come to know and love for "lay" readers. By "lay," in this case, I mean reasonably well-educated people who have not studied epidemiology or biostatistics. Here is what I am working on for an overall description of rate. What do you think?

"Since we will be talking a great deal about death rates in this chapter, a description of the concept of rate and how it is applied to health data is in order. When used in population health, the word “rate” generally signifies the number of unique events, like deaths or injuries, occurring in a specific population over one year; rate is therefore a measurement of proportion or ratio. The mortality or crude death rate of a population is the number of people who died in one year divided by the total population. In 2003 , out of a population of 290 million, 2,448,288 people died in the United States. Dividing the number of deaths by the total U.S. population gives us the rate at which people died – about one per 87 people. Most frequently, we calculate mortality per 100,000 people – that is, for every 100,000 people in the United States, how many people died during that year? In 2003, the crude mortality rate was 841.9 per 100,000 people."

Even more challenging than describing the terms themselves is finding graceful ways to "talk" to the reader, introduce the concept, and convince them to go along for the ride. Terms like "is in order" (see sentence #1) can be distracting and a bit pompous as far as I am concerned, yet I know that when such descriptions are well-written, the reader barely notices that he/she is being led by the hand (or nose!) along the definitional pathway. Any suggestions?

Coming next....crude mortality!